A Note to the Girl Struggling with Comparison featuring Shining for the Lord


God made you to be you.

As simple as loving yourself sounds, I know it isn't simple like that for most girls, including me. As I have battled comparison BIG time myself.

I’ll always remember coming home from school and telling my mom how ugly I was, that I just wanted to be like my friends. No matter what she told me, I argued back and didn't believe her that I really was a, “Special, one of a kind girl who is beautiful inside and out.” I vaguely remember trying everything to make me feel good about myself, hanging out with the “Cool group,” convincing my parents to buy me new shoes and all. Then, getting that one comment from the one girl. I remember starting to workout because I HATED my external appearance and at such a young age. Comparison really is the thief of joy. I wish I would've known this sooner.

Today, let’s battle that lie of comparison with some simple realities.

God made you to be you. You have the body God gave you — with all of its capabilities and limitations (Psalm 139:13). You were born at the exact perfect time and place God even determined Himself! (Acts 17:26)

It wasn't until I started spending some active time in the Word until I realized this. Since then I've been on a road of healing from all the lies I've told myself over the years, the things I've carved into my brain. In addition, I finally learned that every single human being has been a recipient of God’s goodness whether they are choosing to acknowledge it or not.

One more thing, you may not be good at what “She” is good at, because God gifted us each with our OWN individual gifts and talents!

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith.” Romans 12:6

Besides, it is pretty amazing to know God felt the need to personalize each of our lives with so much individual and unique detail. I think comparison is at its worst on social media. Social media can be amazing, connecting us with those we love, all around the world.

However it can also be super toxic and can sabotage the way we view ourselves, torturing our mental health and even our most prized relationships.

The problem is that we look to other accounts and feeds, admiring the ‘Perfect Life’ being portrayed. When in reality, none of us live perfect lives or anything close! Don't you think it is time we are a little more honest with ourselves and our friends through social media?

Honesty is important. Really, really important.

We should not strive to make ourselves or our lives look perfect, especially when we know we are not! Colossians 3:9 says: "Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices." We are loved by God in each of our lives unique seasons. We are each individually, uniquely flawed and broken sinners. However, we are also each loved, exactly how we are. Without filters, best feed, the most likes or follows, insights, or best captions.

Galatians 1:10 says:  "Do you think I am trying to make people accept me? No! God is the One I am trying to please. Am I trying to please men? If I wanted to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. "

Knowing this, we don't need to compare our lives to those around us. Since when was social media being used to make us feel so unhappy, unworthy, and disappointed?

We should not need filters, captions, likes, follows or good insights to validate our worth.

I’ve found limiting my post on @Shiningfortheord has helped me. In addition, around 1 year ago, I deleted my Snapchat account after becoming super upset every time I looked at stories and saw  “Perfect Lives” being pursued without me.

I didn't write this post to make you delete every form of social media you have or lose connection with those you love. Let's be honest, that would suck! But, instead maybe try finding a healthy way to use your social media or if it is needed, how about a break?

With you always,

McKenzie, KW ♡

Thoughts To Ponder:

  • What are some ways you can use social media in a healthy, beneficial way?

  • Where are some areas you struggle most with comparison on social media?

  • What are some things you could do to prevent this comparison?


About the Author:

McKenzie is the writer and creator behind the blog Shining for the Lord.

Read more of her work at shiningforthelordp.wixsite.com/readtheblog or follow her on Instagram @Shiningforthelord