4 Steps to Forgive Those Who've Hurt You


Forgiveness can be a sticky, tricky thing.

We know we should.. But we don’t always know how.

We know we need to.. But we don’t always want to.

It can be so hard to completely forgive someone who’s hurt us or done us wrong in some way. Our human nature doesn’t want to let go so easily!

Can you relate??

I definitely can! Growing up, I had a couple of friends who did me wrong. I found out they were talking about me behind my back, making me look bad to others, and one even eventually dropped me with no explanation.

Like seriously blocked me on all social media, stopped returning my texts, and basically never talked to me ever again! Harsh right?

I was devastated by both situations. I couldn’t understand how these two long-time friends could be so extreme, so hurtful and insensitive to my emotions and our friendship in general. It was a really confusing part of my life!


My heart held on to the bitterness and resentment for a long time until one day God revealed to me the sin I had been carrying around: unwillingness to forgive. He then instructed me to contact both people directly and forgive them!

I wrestled with the idea, thinking things like, “What, God, really?? They’re the ones who are in the wrong!” and “They should say sorry to me first! Why do I have to make the first move??”

But I eventually did what He told me to do.

It was hard and kinda awkward writing out those text messages, but after it was done I felt so free! God knows what He’s doing when He instructs us to forgive, let me tell ya!

Maybe you’ve had a friend or family member do you wrong. Or it may have been a complete stranger or even a group of people. Whatever situation you’ve gone through, you may still be harboring those hurt feelings.

The Bible instructs us many times throughout its text to forgive others. So how can we make it a little easier to do what God has commanded us to do, even when it’s not so appealing? Here’s four ways to help you let go and move on from the hurt feelings, and finally offer full forgiveness!


Remember How God Forgave Us

The first thing to do is remember what God has done for us. We’re all sinners. We’ve all done wrong against others and against God. But He continually chooses to forgive us anyway!

Romans 5:8 says the following: “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Not only does He unconditionally forgive us for anything if we ask Him to, He gave up the ultimate sacrifice to make it happen: His Son! Can’t we give up just a little of our pride and heart for someone else?

I feel that so often we get stuck in this mindset of we didn’t do anything bad. We were just going about our business, doing our thing, and then someone hurt us. Unintentionally or on purpose. Either way they were in the wrong. And now we, the victim are expected to do the hard thing? How dare someone have the audacity to want us to make the first move when we’re the innocent one!

How often do we sink into that victim mindset? I definitely have!

But what we’re missing is that we’re not innocent.. We’ve sinned just like that person who hurt us has sinned.

It says in James 2:10, “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all.”

Wow! What a sobering truth. All sin is the same in God’s eyes. We are all sinners who don't deserve forgiveness, but are gifted it anyway by our precious Father in Heaven. Who are we to deny our own forgiveness from others?


Pray to Be More Like the Lord

Okay, so we know we need to be like God and forgive others like He forgave us. But it’s still hard.. Our human nature still doesn’t want to do it. I totally get it!

Here’s how I remedy that problem: I pray!

God is there for us 24/7, any topic, any problem. And He wants to help us! Especially with something He’s commanded us to do. So I’ve put together a pre-written prayer that you can pray right now! Give it a try.

Dear Lord,

Forgive me for being stingy with forgiveness. Thank you for always forgiving me and accepting me no matter what. I need help with forgiving {Name of Who Hurt You}. Please soften my heart and give me the words to say.



Prepare to Take the Weight Off Your Heart

This step should be the easiest because it’s something for ourselves!

When we carry around the hurt, the bitterness, the reluctance to move on, we also carry around a huge weight on our heart! God doesn't want that heaviness clouding our soul and spirit. He doesn't want the negativity rooting deep within us and making a home.

Forgiveness is the remedy. It’s not just for that other person; we don't just offer forgiveness as a gift to someone who’s hurt us. We offer it as a gift to ourselves to move on, worry no more, and be in pain no longer. We can finally be free once we forgive!

Think about how amazing that’s going to feel! Think of how awesome that time will be when you don’t have to drag along that unwelcome friend called resentment!


Read These Verses

The Bible is full of encouragement, next steps, and guidance. Read the following verses for inspiration and an extra push to make the move towards forgiveness!

Write them down, memorize them, keep them somewhere in your home where you can see them, study them daily until you can truly commit to forgiving the person who hurt you.

Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.”

Colossians 3:13 “If one has a complaint against another, forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came up to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”


Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Hebrews 12:24 “Strive for peace with everyone.”

John 8:7 “He stood up and said to them, ‘Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.’”

Forgiveness and freedom can be right around the corner when we choose to give up our pride and give in to the Lord and His perfect ways. Are you starting your journey to forgiveness today?

Yours In Christ,


Get Instant Access to My Resource Library!